Ignoring the Future

My dad married a second wife when I was in SS2, and that marked the beginning of the usual scuffle in polygamous homes. Being the first child, it was natural that I defended my mum against ‘the plot of the intruder’, but I did not. Because dad was the one paying my tuition fees, and he intended to do it as long as I wanted him to, I was careful not to jeopardize my opportunity to get qualitative education, and made my mum understand that things would straighten themselves out. Then, I had to ignore the happenings around me, and this led to a slight friction between my mum and I. The present was not too pleasant then, but my eyes were set on the future.


My mum died 4 years ago, the ‘intruder’ is still alive and very much my step mum. Like me, my siblings are all graduates, while my half siblings are still in secondary school. We chose the future over the present, and we did not regret it.

Like me, many of us are faced with challenges that are not ours, but feel obliged to handle them at the detriment of our future. As much as we feel concerned and believe there’s a need to take action, we should be diplomatic in our dealings. My parents were living their lives, and there was no reason for me to be too involved. They had the choice of getting a divorce, but since they chose to ignore that, I didn’t see any reason for me to be too involved in what was clearly not my fight. It may sound selfish, but it worked in my favour. As time went on, they sorted themselves out and we also moved on. You do not have to sacrifice your future because of the present that’s hardly your business. Instead, see the happenings as a movie to learn from, and apply the lessons learnt to your personal life.

Many people in my generation experienced rough childhood as a result of broken homes, parental neglect and marital incompatibility- and the choices we made then determined what most turned out to become today.

There’s time for everything, and it is important that we don’t misappropriate our time so that posterity does not laugh at us eventually. Mum may have passed on, but her importance grows everyday because God has blessed us with the resources to ensure that her importance never diminishes. We could have chosen to throw caution to the wind and dealt with dad and step mum back then, but we were sensible to understand that success is the best weapon to deal with some issues- and that’s what we chose to do.

We do not have to go wrong in the name of fighting for our right.